A couple of weeks ago I got home late from a meeting and I just wanted to disconnect. I wanted (needed?) to pause my life for a few minutes. I did what many of us do, I turned on the television. My DVR had recorded one of my new favorite shows earlier. So I sat there prepared to be entertained by The Cleaner.

The Cleaner is a new show on A&E. It showcases the acting talents of Benjamin Bratt as William, a former drug addict who gives people who are themselves addicts an opportunity to become clean. William has an interesting relationship with God. He believes God spared him in order to allow him to live this new calling. The conversations he has with God are informal and reverant.

Some of you are thinking, “This does not sound like a show you can relax when you watch.” You are right. And I didn’t.

The episode titled House of Pain, begins with William attending a memorial service at a local prep school. One of the students died from a drug overdose. The principal is worried that other students are following in her footsteps. Before I could even begin to contemplate the episode, William’s conversation with God interrupted me.

The sister duo Karmina, play students singing at the service.  Their song Walk You Home is the underscore for William’s prayer/conversation with God…

“How many times have I seen this…
the better question is, ‘How many times have you?’”
Not accusing. Not demanding an answer. No, understanding God’s hurt.

“At times like this, I wonder…
Do you doubt…
us?

I was no longer disconnected. Here was God again, interrupting my rest so he could restore me. I was left wondering why God gave us free will.  I choose to believe we have free will. Sometimes, I really don’t like it. It is usually when tragedy strikes. Whether personal or national, in those moments I expect God to step in and change things…