I was feeling horrible for about a week. So, as promised, I went to see my doctor. That is always an interesting experience. I had a list of symptoms in my head. I also brought a list of nerve-inducing diagnoses.
It turned out I did not have mono (it hit my family earlier this summer). In fact the culprit was a low amount of Vitamin D in my system. Hmm. Not life changing, not dramatic.
At this point I am taking vitamins, drinking milk and trying to get more sun. And trying to find balance once again.
I have been thinking about balance a lot. It is hard to find the balance. Between tan and sunscreen. Healthy eating and enjoyment. Inside and outside. Work and rest. The list goes on and on.
When one part of me gets out of balance, well… I feel… out of balance.
Simple? Yes. Difficult? Yes.
I continue to find the beauty in balance. I have friends who think it is impossible to find. Perhaps not even worth finding. I don’t know. I think the pursuit of balance is worth it. I may never find it. But the search… makes me a better father, pastor, husband… a better man.
Father,
Help me to never lose you in the midst of my struggle.
While I search, may I find you at every turn. And recognize you.
Help me to be the man you desire.
Take my mess and bring beauty in it.
I love you.
Joshua
